Pride
(This is simply an effort to get my thoughts down about stuff I've seen over my young life...it is rambly and probably makes little sense)
Pride is one of those things that most people have (if not all). Some have much more of it than others. For some people it feeds into their own sense of importance and arrogance to such an extent that it has a huge impact (mostly negative) on their lives. Perhaps it is a way of dealing with their own deep seeded insecurities. In part it can be a learned behavior. More often than not, when it is at an extreme it is extremely self destructive. Many such people go through most if not all of their lives living in self denial that this elevated sense of pride hurts not only themselves, but those that are around them. Or maybe they just don't care what impact has on others. Or they do care but cannot stop themselves.
Have you ever seen a person who had such a magnified sense of pride go through something terrible in their life? They often fall apart when life throws its challenges at them. While most people feel depressed/jaded/cynical etc. when things are not going well, the people who had the most "ana" or pride are the ones that are the most crushed. They do not know what to do with themselves. They do not know how to deal with the so called curve balls that life throws at them. Their desparation shows...that desparate need to be liked, to be valued, to be the center of attention, to feel important. They do not have a secure sense of self and hence cannot draw on their own inner qualities to do that. They need outside confirmation of their self worth, even if it is fake or exagerated. As such, every little gesture that someone makes towards them is blown out of proportion. Something small said in passing is seen as a huge insult. Something done just out of politeness is seen as a measure of the grand amount of respect that person has for the "prideful" one. They hang onto every word/gesture/action directed towards them (and sometimes even those that are not directed towards them). They whimper inside to get some attention, any sort of attention. Nothing is without meaning. Everything is about them. Most people back away from such people, especially when they are going through hard times. Understandably so. Being around them is difficult, trying, furstrating. They can be downright rude and hurtful. It's very hard to remember that it's never about you, but always about them. Every reaction, every action, every thought, is all about them. But if you look very carefully, you feel sympathy and at times, empathy towards them. For grown, and often intelligent people to fall apart like that is just simply sad.
Many of these people have some great qualities that are overshadowed by their false sense of pride. It is human nature it seems to focus on the negative (for most people anyways). Something is to be said of humility. It keeps you down to earth and grounded. When life throws it's curve balls, you are much better equiped to handle it. Despite questioning yourself, at the end of the day you measure your self worth by digging deep down within yourself and seeing what you truly have to offer. You do not need random people, who at the end of the day are not that important in your life, to elevate how you feel about yourself. But I've found that with people who have excess pride (for those in the medical system, a trend towards delusions of grandeur that patients with psychosis sometimes demonstrate), they simply cannot do that and need to present a farce to the world. And sadly, they often have to present a farce to those closest to them. All it serves to do is destroy every relationship in their lives. They cannot be honest with themselves, much less anyone else. Communication, honest, sincere, heart felt communication is impossible. As such, no matter who is there for them in whatever capacity, they feel utterly alone and misunderstood.
Pride is one of those things that most people have (if not all). Some have much more of it than others. For some people it feeds into their own sense of importance and arrogance to such an extent that it has a huge impact (mostly negative) on their lives. Perhaps it is a way of dealing with their own deep seeded insecurities. In part it can be a learned behavior. More often than not, when it is at an extreme it is extremely self destructive. Many such people go through most if not all of their lives living in self denial that this elevated sense of pride hurts not only themselves, but those that are around them. Or maybe they just don't care what impact has on others. Or they do care but cannot stop themselves.
Have you ever seen a person who had such a magnified sense of pride go through something terrible in their life? They often fall apart when life throws its challenges at them. While most people feel depressed/jaded/cynical etc. when things are not going well, the people who had the most "ana" or pride are the ones that are the most crushed. They do not know what to do with themselves. They do not know how to deal with the so called curve balls that life throws at them. Their desparation shows...that desparate need to be liked, to be valued, to be the center of attention, to feel important. They do not have a secure sense of self and hence cannot draw on their own inner qualities to do that. They need outside confirmation of their self worth, even if it is fake or exagerated. As such, every little gesture that someone makes towards them is blown out of proportion. Something small said in passing is seen as a huge insult. Something done just out of politeness is seen as a measure of the grand amount of respect that person has for the "prideful" one. They hang onto every word/gesture/action directed towards them (and sometimes even those that are not directed towards them). They whimper inside to get some attention, any sort of attention. Nothing is without meaning. Everything is about them. Most people back away from such people, especially when they are going through hard times. Understandably so. Being around them is difficult, trying, furstrating. They can be downright rude and hurtful. It's very hard to remember that it's never about you, but always about them. Every reaction, every action, every thought, is all about them. But if you look very carefully, you feel sympathy and at times, empathy towards them. For grown, and often intelligent people to fall apart like that is just simply sad.
Many of these people have some great qualities that are overshadowed by their false sense of pride. It is human nature it seems to focus on the negative (for most people anyways). Something is to be said of humility. It keeps you down to earth and grounded. When life throws it's curve balls, you are much better equiped to handle it. Despite questioning yourself, at the end of the day you measure your self worth by digging deep down within yourself and seeing what you truly have to offer. You do not need random people, who at the end of the day are not that important in your life, to elevate how you feel about yourself. But I've found that with people who have excess pride (for those in the medical system, a trend towards delusions of grandeur that patients with psychosis sometimes demonstrate), they simply cannot do that and need to present a farce to the world. And sadly, they often have to present a farce to those closest to them. All it serves to do is destroy every relationship in their lives. They cannot be honest with themselves, much less anyone else. Communication, honest, sincere, heart felt communication is impossible. As such, no matter who is there for them in whatever capacity, they feel utterly alone and misunderstood.
posted by Anokhi at
11:35 AM
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