Fucked up people

So I have 3 days left of my 5 week psychiatry rotation and let me tell u, there are some truly fucked up people out there. Some examples:
1) woman #1: god and satan fight inside my head; last time I left hospital they were playing (this is what she said when asked if she hears voices)
2) man #1: brought in by police...admitted to hospital. decided he didn't want to stay. took the window out of the frame and jumped out. brought back by police 2 hours later
3) man #2: when asked did you sleep: "I was comatose for a little while there."
4) woman #2: what brings you in: "I am jesus' wife and I was told by him to come here and help people
5) man #3: decided to take a cat, tie it to a tree and kill it with a shovel. Why? He doens't know why...he just felt like it.
6) man #4: came into hospital because (his words): "I am homicidal. I have actual plans to kill this person but thought I should come in and get help."
7) woman #3: the police have been after me for 12 years. They park a van outside my house every day (her neighbor drives a van)
8) woman #4: paranoid: takes pics of her neighbors b/c she thinks they are spying on them. her yard flooded so she built a canal type thing to diver the water into her neighbor's yard. tried to convince us that a picture she took of her neighbor's cat climbing over her fence (it's the cat's ass) is actualy her next door neighbor's face with a ski mask as he is spying on her; when police came, she hit the officer smack in the face. refuses treatment and we can' tforce it on her or keep her forcibly in hospital.

and the list goes on and on...